Leaena's Dear Diary

If happiness can only be found within, where in my existence is it hiding? Which atom is it living in? What matter is it made of? Why haven't I found it yet? How long will it take me to find it? I wish happiness was scattered haphazardly. So that one

I used to tell myself that when I grew up, I would have a small place to myself, surrounded by books with a cat crawled up in my lap. I would sit in the darkness and rejoice in the silence I rarely had. Now I am in just a tad bit bigger room with a c

My shred of hope breathe amidst foggy adversity. Its a part of me I cherish and despise. When the world weighs too much, I adore the strength it rains on me. But when in the face of truth, my ugly delusion invades and I abhor the desire it fuels. I w

Dear ghost, Its when I don't write that I become completely crippled. The bottled up intensity burn my every inch. My heart echo with the voices of a dead. The thoughts hover like a dagger waiting to pierce me. I am a danger to myself and a menace c

I bet the neighbours who heard me are like, "dafuq is she doing!Cus I've been listening to some podcast- volumes are not too loud and full on cleaning my apartment in the middle of the night. My cats are confused and want me to go to bed but they wak

Hold on to this passion like a grain of water in a drought. Forget fears that disable your courage. Know that you will never know until you climb. Be not afraid of bleeding when you break your leg.

I think you can measure my truth in bottle of mirth.. I am your joy, the crystal of your truth. In every corner, you remember the vibration of my honesty. I am genuine so you are drunk in the bluntness. You can say I am drunk of life. That I represen

Tonight, I want to drink til I forget this longing. I want to be tipsy enough to remember why I had to. But I know it's more for the want to forget the shame of holding on to you. Therefore, I did not call my friends and walked in a bar. I just sat d

There are dreams that have passed and stayed. The dreams that stayed clung desperately like a lover unable to let go of her cold partner. The dreams that passed- faded like a bubble aware of the world. I talk not of dreams that dissolve in the wake o

Dear ghost,Have you ever feared your strength might not live up to your desire? For every applause I heard, I took one step backwards- afraid that my capacity will fail my dreams. I named it insecurities. I grabbled at the ideas of holding the trophi

I want to burrow beneath the sand of summers shore. Let the earth swallow my shame. I have forgotten I need to grow. Dehydrated, entomb my roots of nutrients. Let it reach for the river underground.  Unlearn my pride to enshrine my patience. I am no

On the pavement, you shall not know me. When the ink dries, I am carrying rainbow on my shoulder. I have left the darkness in the curve of my letters.  I will offer you giggles and sweetness if you can bear it. But be it true or not, is yours to deci

Dear ghost, Maybe, love is not for me. Cascade of romance is an excursion too costly to ask. Perhaps, it demands ingenuity I greatly lack, or a kindness I desperately need. I am not a half of another. Perchance, I am just merely incomplete and my ve

It's been a while since you were unraveled. You stain the very moment of my day. You encroach on every particles of my skin and bones. I have shushed you for quite a while this time but a mere second unveiled you. Do you like the way you ruin me? So

The sunset holds my secret. The mountain adores my vices. The trees believe my lies. And the summer forgives my resentment. The sadness that passes by, only nature can sooth it. My grudges are tamed by sunlight. I only purr for the mother earth. Only