Leaena's Dear Diary

I dont get it. Am I so incompetent? Have I undone my credibility? Am I such a burden that I deserves to be implicated? Do I deserve this? What have I done that makes them think I deserves to be mocked, questioned and condescended? I am so tired of th

As my foot prints trail behind my back, most sweet breeze slowly brushes pass me. I am aware of times that taunt me and nectar I dearly miss. This year, despite all the harsh stories, I want to live tenderly. Have a heart to forgive. Plant a seed to

On the way home, I always sing. Even when I was as little as a snot, when I was minor, and even now, I sing songs, especially when it rains and no one can hear me. This became severe when I lived in a remote area, where it was often dreadfully silent

In their presence, I drown in a security yearned by many. Their care is a testament of a covenant thicker than the water of a womb.  I cannot believe they have loved me for decade. I cannot fathom how they resisted the flaws I deeply abhor about myse

To yesterday me, who was so hopeful and so frightened. You did well. You could have done better. There is rooms for improvement. But the worst case scenario did not happen.

If my wings melt, would there be a soul kind enough to catch me? If I cannot fly, will someone wait for me? If all the light abandons me, are they willing to lit the candle? If I fall, can there be anyone to cushion me? When I become nobody, am I sti

In this silence, I can feel my nerves. Even as tomorrow rushes, I hear fears of error. But with all that I am, I embrace my vanity, pride, strength and hope. I recall every vices that ignites me. I abandon all virtues that dims me. I can realise it.

Dear ghost, I want to follow a strange little creature scurrying into an unknown. In my persuade, I shall unknowingly enter a lush forest after crawling under a tunnel of vines. Beneath a grassy cave, I want a squishable huge furry creature to lay t

On the 11th, I embraced my connection. On the 12th, I did not wipe every inch of my apartment. On the 13th,  I took it slow. But then I got sick.On the 14th, I worked On the 15th, I worked On the 16th, I worked like a slave, but I did something I am

I have list of all things that eats me up.  The kind of words that nudges me to shatter the mirror. The kind that enable my anxiety. Those wanton words, you said frivilously, scratches the very inch of my skin. The ones that make me want to cut my bo

Dear universe,My skin and bones know not of any ailment. But I own a diseased mind. It is with great despair that I loathfully declare that the time is seethingly lazy for me. He passes by awfully slow. My sore limps can no more bear the burden of th

Dear,It's like I am putting on a show. I am exhausted because all I do is beg. Like the curtain never closes as long as I smell a human near by. Therefore, my core is blurred. My personality a little deranged. I believe the me when no one's in the ro

1/12/25 I have been grieving lately. Not only them but also that girl who lost her dreams. What do you do when you dreamt and dreamt untill you held it in your arms. Squeezed it only for it to crumble. What if the Kingdom fell after the happily afte

Lately, I fed the shadow too much. The wet shades of winter encroaches upon my fief. I am only cultivating seeds moulded in the dark. I have uttered only flaws, only to cloak myself in it. I am too distrustful for the springs pride. The winter stays

Hey,You remember that poem,I said I will be the devil and you be the angel And we will have a discourseYou said sureWe never did.But hey,You remember I asked you againI said I will be the angel, you be the devil You said gradually But we never came a