finally, moving out


Dear Diary,

last night i had a conversation with my mom, and i told her i might be moving in with her by this weekend. im both worried and excited at the same time. The only sad part is that i have to leave my 3 dogs behind. i dont really have to do that, but i want to. where im going, theres already a bunch of dogs and this summer a lot of animal viruses and stuff aroused and as much as possible i want my dogs taken cared of and fed and paid attention to, i dont want them mingling with dogs who only bathe at least once a month and sometimes dont even get to eat food- my uncle's dogs are somehow neglected in a way and knowing that i might be busy after moving there, i chose to leave them here with my cousins as we agreed that i would still help provide for the dogs but just not be here for them, for a brief while. 

never in my life have i thought i would say this, but im excited to be able to work on my moms small food kiosk. It gave me a different feeling when i was the one who started selling here, but since i will be moving out, im gonna have to change locations, literally on another state. If things get better, i might continue going there for college and most probably settle there permanently. However,  i acknowledge that it will still be a long, long journey before i really get to be comfortable with all the adjustments, especially since this will be the first time ever that i will be living in a different house ever since. 

i cant help but feel a bit scared whenever i feel happy, probably because i rarely feel positive, but i think it is worthy of saying that after a long period of being disappointed in myself and how my life was going, this is a well-earned smile that i wear in front of people, it is not a pretend smile, or anything else. at least i should appreciate this moment.