Don't forget me
4/1/21
I sent you an email last night, saying goodbye. I haven't gotten a response yet. I pray I will...for closure. I don't believe in anything, but I've been doing that a lot lately... Praying. Because it's all I can do. I feel so helpless, so powerless. The hardest part is not knowing where you are. Where your heart and head is. Do you hate me? Do you genuinely want nothing to do with me anymore? Is it easy for you right now? Is the turmoil only about your family, is there none for whatever you and I were?
I know why I drive to where you live so often. I realized the whole time, I'm in a weird way pretending this isn't real. You aren't gone. I'm driving to see you. I'll get there and then I might hear from you and we'll meet and this will be a stupid phase that means nothing...
I broke down again tonight. I feel so hopeless. I'm convinced you'll never talk to me again. There's nothing new for me to write. I'm heartbroken.
I feel like even when I'm not actively thinking of you, which isn't often, you're still in the back of my mind. You're always there. You're everywhere to me. But the longer we go without talking... The more I realize how unimportant I was to you. I was a distraction to you, a phase... And you were everything to me...Loading...