Dear Diary,
After so many days, I feel peaceful after waking up. I know now, that the wait is over. I finally said everything to AM, that I want to meet him or otherwise I will return by 20. And he couldn't give me confirmation but said, by 10 he is planning to reach here. I told him, he was one reason I came here, and if he doesn't meet me by 20, I have no reason to be here. I will find some other place. I will permanently leave this city.
All I needed was to be honest. I was keeping everything inside my head. And this was making me super frustrated. I wished I realised this earlier. From now, I will be honest with him. I don't need to hide what I want. If he doesn't come, I will move on, but that won't upset me. I just can't wait indefinitely for someone anymore. We already been dating for a year now. The feelings of hatred are not there too. All I want from life is one partner, who I can love. I will manage the struggles and troubles of life , but I want to have someone by my side. That's the one thing I will not compromise in.
From today I will practice meditation. Have a nothing box in my head. I realised I don't want to live a pathetic life anymore. I will be happy. PERIOD.
Today my mom cried because yesterday I had told her I am very sad with life. She has already suffered a lot in life, she wants her kids to live a happy life. And I want to be a good daughter. If seeing us happy is all she ever wanted, I can't do that to her. I won't do that to myself.
Tasks for today:-