January 30, 2021


Dear Diary,

I didn't get to go home. I was sent to a detention center after talking to the case worker.

The case worker said I didn't need to pack anything and that everything I needed would be provided for me.

When we pulled up in the van because my parents couldn't even come along, it looked like a prison. Three security check points before even getting in and razor wire on top of each fence. Plus multiple cameras everywhere.

When we walked in there, which by the way there were three men that had to walk with me the entire time. I am probably 5'3" at most and maybe weigh 105 at most, so it seemed overkill.

I was stopped at a showering facility where a woman told me to undress and go into the shower. They bagged my clothes and said I would get them back when I was released from here.

When I got in the shower she gave me a shampoo and told me not to get it into my eyes because it is to get rid of lice. I told her I didn't have lice and she said it is procedure. So I used the shampoo and she said that I also had to use it "down there". It made my hair extremely dry and my hair is long so it will take forever to get the knots out. I rinsed off and she told me to use the liquid soap in the dispenser. She said it is a shampoo/conditioner/body wash so use it everywhere and rinse. She is standing there the whole time too.

After washing, she gave me a soft rubber cylinder looking brush to brush my hair and she handed me black scrubs, a pair of underwear, and slip on shoes. She said this is what will be provided for me to wear everyday.

She then put my hairbrush in a little locker and handed me a weird small finger toothbrush. She told me to brush my teeth with it and gave me a packet of toothpaste. So I brushed my teeth which is weird to use your finger for it. She put extra packets of toothpaste in my locker and my toothbrush. She said there are also pads for when I have my period in my locker. She put my name on it and said to use a 4 digit code to lock it. She wrote down the code I used and we left the shower area. 

She handed me a sheet, pillow, and thick wool blanket and we walked to my room. When we got to my room, she told me to make my bed and that I have to make it every morning. 

My room is probably 8x8 at most. There is a sink and toilet like in a prison. My metal desk is fused to the wall so it can't be moved and my metal chair that sits in front of it is fused to the floor so it can't be moved either. She said I will do my schoolwork here. I am also expected to clean my room every Saturday, put laundry down this small hole in my room, which would be my clothes and bedding. There is also a small cube that is fused to the wall and she said that is where I can keep pads in case I need them. She said they are flushable.

She then showed me where we would eat. She said meal times are a set schedule every day and that no silverware are provided. We get a styrofoam piece that we scoop our food into and we use styrofoam plates and bowls to eat with.

She said I will also help in the kitchen with dishes at every meal for 45 minutes after I eat. 

She gave me my class schedule and said I am expected to go and if I refuse I will be brought in by force. I also have to take a parenting class as I am a mom. She said therapy sessions are required as well, they are one on one.

School classes are even on the weekend. I only get an hour to use the internet. We are also only given a rubber like pencil to use for work. No books and paper and worksheets. All our materials stay in the classroom unless we don't finish our work, which then we have to take it to our room and finish it that night to turn it in the next day. No late work is accepted.

We also have P.E., which is just a track where we run around for 40 minutes everyday.

School classes even happen on the weekends. It is all a set schedule for us.

We are locked into our rooms every night and checked every hour on the hour to make sure we are sleeping and probably trying to not kill ourselves. Oh yeah, we have to sleep in underwear, nothing else. Even the light in our rooms don't have a lightbulb, it is some sort of flat thing with bars over it so we can't break it. Although how would we, we don't get anything hard to use for anything! 

Visiting hours are every Tuesday from 3pm to 4pm. We only get visiting hours if our grades are up and we haven't been in trouble. We don't get to use the phone. We can only use the phone if someone calls us during that time during visiting hours and they have to be on an approved list. Actually, we only get to see anyone on our approved list.

I should probably get on my school work, I only have about a half hour left of internet use. Oh yeah, it is a laptop, screwed into the table. It looks to be encased in metal so you can't adjust the screen tilt or anything. 

Cameras are everywhere and we are never alone besides at night when we are in our rooms but you are checked on every hour. Plus, there is a camera in our rooms.

There is an infirmary, you can only go if you are approved to go. Medication is given at meal times if it is prescribed to you and they watch you take it and make you open your mouth and move your tongue and check the sides of your mouth to make sure you swallowed it.

No snacks are served unless it is soft fruit. To be honest we don't eat anything hard. Breakfast is always scrambled eggs and mixed fruit with juice or water. All served with styrofoam. Lunch is a sandwich and steamed vegetables, with a pudding. Dinner is a stirfry and rice with mixed fruit. Snack in the afternoon and before bed is jello.

Our dinners don't ever change unless we are sick then we get broth.