January 30, 2021


Dear Diary, Hey so I have almost nothing new to say. Very few things happened the last few weeks. I've been working out a lot and have been trying to learn more Japanese. I haven't had any contact with Belle. I chatted with Knight a few times again. After that long silence she suddenly wrote again. And then she stopped again. And then suddenly sent me a video where the text from evangelion is replaced with nyans. Then I asked her if she wants to play the Monster Hunter Demo for the switch together online. Now she is silent again. No idea what is happening with her.

I also talked a bit with one of my male friends P. But it's kinda hard to have a lot of contact with him if we can't meet up. I also talked a bit more with the friend I made at Uni that I briefly talked about before. She is strictly a friend since she is in a relationship. I'm not interested in her anyway. She is such a big contrast to Belle and Knight. We agree politically in everything, she is nerdy and we can talk freely about stuff without me having to worry that I say something wrong. She is exactly the type of girl I'm looking for on Dating Apps  but can't find. If someone like her asked me out I would definetly say yes. But sadly people like her don't need dating apps.

We didn't talk about dating at all really, but she mentioned a while ago that women just need to show a guy a little bit of interest to get things going. And she is so right about that. Why don't other women understand this simple fact.

I've said it a lot before but dating, showing interest and making the first step should all be 50:50. It's so unfair that men are expected to initiate everything just because of their gender. It completely disregards our personalities. That is what dating should be about. The more extroverted ones should ask out and the introverted ones should be asked out more, that is fine and makes sense. And when dating isn't based on gender anymore we can talk much more freely about what shy people or other people with dating trouble should do.

Right now the whole debate is split in to. That is what women  should do, this is what men should do. That is so bullshit! It further cements stereotyoes that women in particular usually seek to avoid. They want to be equal in the relationship, they want to split bills (as it should be) but they still don't see why this initiative thing is so damaging. Us men can't just abandon that stupid old role of the casanova or whatever since those expectations are still in place. We can't leave the past behind because we are stuck on this one aspect. And it hurts women tremendously too. All those men who constantly bother them can always point to how women secretly want this, because women never make clear that they want to take this responsibility too. Maybe they think that men want it this way or they simply hate asking people out (which is understandable). But this is causing so many problems, please rethink those expectations!

Women and men have the same worth and it's time that men can feel like they are worth something in dating too!