January 12, 2021


Dear Diary,

I just don't think I can do this. He keeps me at such a distance and it is driving me nuts. I guess I am just not used to this. It is kind of just making me depressed. It is so cold out that there just isn't a need to go outside and there isn't much to do in this town anyway. Then I am here and I am just a room mate to him. It sucks!

I have been trying to keep myself busy but it isn't really working. I feel like I am sinking mentally. 

I need something more from him. It is difficult to talk to him about this. He just isn't going to start a physical relationship.

I don't know why I feel this way. What is so important about it? Why does it make me feel like I am worthless? 

Maybe he is right. I am screwed up in my mind when it comes to men and relationships with them. It still doesn't change how I feel though.

I just want to cry