28th January 2016
Message to the reader,
I’m very glad I’ve left this flyleaf blank until now. I had no particular aim on the direction of my continuation of letters to my dear friend, but that I knew in writing down my full thoughts and feelings, with all honesty that only good would come.
So in that case, I just let my inner voice speak and for the words to flow, through all its moments of strength and weakness.
Little would I realize how quick it would take me to fill up the pages of this notebook, my seventh volume so far, and how massive of an emotional journey it’s been for me within those near eleven months.
However self-reflective you may find my entries, or obscure my observations, I want you to know despite how I’ve wrote in moments of pain, loneliness or frustration that I really do think about all the members in my life with the utmost sincerity that I can handle.
And when it comes to my family and speaking about the past, I know we’re all going through our own battles and we each have our own responsibilities to cater for.
I also know that I’ve some amazing friends in my life and that I haven’t always given them more time and attention that they so deserve. I’ve been selfish in a lot of respects, and trying to figure out who I am and where I’m at with myself.
I know that may confuse you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve often been adrift!
I keep searching for a way out: a way to lift myself up and to function as the happy-go-lucky guy I know I can be, but it’s just hard holding that I and knowing it doesn’t change the misery within.
I keep hoping and holding onto every moment that can give me peace, and I guess it’s by focusing on the good that I may drown out this depression.
As they say, there’s always another day!
Yours,
Jay..