January 03, 2021

 

I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed with emotions right now and I can't even talk about this to anyone I know. This is just a really small issue within me and I don't think people around me are taking this seriously but I am not acting out, being rude, or being standoffish. Junior high school has been pretty tough for me, all I could remember when looking back are a lot of negative thoughts and emotions. It also took me years and a great amount of effort just to completely leave that place, and cut out connection with everyone there and I can't believe that with just a simple invite I feel like everything I have done to avoid them is rendered useless. I did not have a scandal or anything big I was just fine on my own and was always following what the teachers say but you know the normal hs stuff cliques and bullying and all that jazz. Anyway, I declined their invite with the reason being that there's a pandemic and any kind of gatherings aren't really allowed although we don't really have that much cases but the new variant is kind of scaring me too. I would have love to tell them that I don't want to see them anymore though as my primary reason for declining. I just really want to cut off all of them and not see them its just hard for now since we are in one small municipality. bduwdbiwuqbsjjs this is making me crazy i want to cry badly.

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