Dear Diary,
Vince asked me if I could stay longer with him. I honestly don't care, if he wants me gone I will leave, if he wants me to stay then I will stay here with him
My mood is not any better than it was earlier. The better part of now is that I took a couple pills and feel pretty relaxed right now.
Vince will want to go to bed soon which means I have to go too. He isn't so bad. He doesn't hit, although I still feel that might happen at some point.
I am 15 and I feel like I am limited to a few months left to live. I feel like I have lived lifetimes already.
I took a nap earlier and had a dream about Ryan. He was able to talk to me and he apologized. I can't even tell you how happy I was and then I woke up and started bawling because it wasn't real.
I am laying on the deck and staring at the stars. It is freezing but so quiet. I hear an owl every now and then but nothing else. I guess there is the faint sound of the TV on inside but that is easily tuned out.
I wonder what Ryan is doing right now and if he is even reading my emails I send him. Will I ever see him again? I wish I could answer that.