Dear Diary,
So far Vince hasn't hit or choked me. But just like everyone else, I don't trust him. They all lie!
No answer at all from Ryan. I haven't cried about it in a day or two but, I just don't think I physically can cry anymore. I hurt from it still.
I wonder how Ian is doing today. I hope he had a good weekend. I hope whatever plan he has, is still going on and working out successfully for him.
Vince and I just had breakfast. Wasn't much but that is okay, not that hungry anyway. Fruit and some sausage. He said he butchered the hog himself. (Cool, I guess)
He is working on a table in his wood shop. He had to show me what he does. He does nice work. He makes stuff for people for a living.
He told me to relax and rest today. Weird! Most tell me to be ready and waiting.
Still waiting for the bottom to fall out on this and have him show me his true colors. He is muscular enough that he would probably snap me like a twig with minimal effort. I will definitely be mentally preparing myself for the beating of my life if it ever comes to that.
I am so jaded anymore. I just don't care about anything. After Ryan basically told me to fuck off and get lost, I just don't feel anything anymore.
I can't drink enough and I can't get stoned enough anymore. It is kind of scary anymore. My tolerance is so high now.