Dear Diary,
I have a pounding headache from the knot on my forehead.
Still no reply from Ryan. It brings tears to my eyes that he isn't responding to me.
Jerry wants more tonight. I hope it isn't as rough as what I remember from last night. He is really hurting my neck with the choking, it is starting to hurt to swallow.
I have spent the past hour drinking. It helps take the edge off of all of this. I feel a little better about Ryan not talking to me and I can deal with Jerry a little more.
I never noticed until a few hours ago but I have a huge bruise on my lower back. It is extremely dark purple. I felt sore but when I bent down to pick up a shirt, I thought I was going to die. When I touched it, it was horrible too. Looked in the bathroom mirror and it is all a very dark purple color on my lower back.I tried thinking of anything at all that could have caused it but I can't remember.
Eh, I will just have another drink to drink on top of all my other drinks because of all my other owies. I am definitely a duck tonight, swimming in my vodka. Haha
I was hoping Jerry would give me a break tonight but he said no. I could definitely use one but I guess I had a break all day.
I miss you Ryan! I have so much I want to tell you.
Kemper you would kill Jerry for the marks on me.
Mom and Dad, I wouldn't even be able to look you in the face anymore
Ian, the same with you. I can't look you in the eye
I am ashamed of all of this.
I cry myself to sleep every night, at least I think I do. Last night was fuzzy
Jerry is here now