December 24, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


Kemper and I had one of our long talks again about life and each other. He thought it was so cool that I was the first baby born in my state on New Year’s Day. 

Tonight we are going to the clubhouse for a Christmas party. Ugh! I will put on a happy face for him and act like it is so much fun! 

There are suppose to be a lot of members from around the area coming. Food, games, and drinks. I will stick with water, my body kind of feels somewhat normal and I don’t want to backtrack again. 

I seriously hate this time of year, I want it over with! I feel so alone and lost and I hate it! I hate all the get togethers and family time. The one person I want to see or talk to in the whole world wants nothing to do with me and doesn’t even respond to my emails. I miss him and it hurts so bad! 

Okay I’m crying, done with this. Going to crawl into bed and hope I never wake up

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