i feel like my mind is going to blow any moment now.
ive been thinking about a lot of things all at once. I hate that my mom is expecting a lot from me. I couldnt even tell her how much i hate my job and how much i want to quit it. Finances has always been unstable for us. Meanwhile, i just want to learn how to enjoy my life again. I want to make light-hearted choices for myself, like for example, buy a bike (even second hand), because i want to be able to roam around the area by my own company. Ive always been serious about my life.
I saw this second-hand bike, its actually quite affordable. I dont usually buy wants; im more of a needs person. Having a bike would help me find some break when all i do is think. Each day i go for a walk around whenever i have free time, so this should be a great opportunity.
I dont know why, but i asked my mom about whether or not i should buy the bike. Even if its already a good deal, she still asked me to ask for a discounted price. I didnt want to waste my time, but she asked more questions. Like, what the reason was why the bike was being sold, or the location of the seller. Gosh, i guess im just frustrated because the only thing i needed was for her to agree. I was going to pay for it anyways!
I know shes just making sure. But how is she supposed to know how this bike meant to me? I dont even say a thing because i hated people getting into my business. I just want to move out. The burden is too much, i cant carry a cross that isnt mine to bear.