Dear Diary,
Its only been a few months and ironically a chain of major events started happening when a guy that i loved left without any goodbyes. Rather, ghosting would be the better word.
This guy was just amazing to me. Never felt that way to ANYONE. Maybe its because im an intovert and i dont really go dating around; but its just not my brand.
He actually came back after two months and contacted me as if he never left. I was in the middle of moving on then, just in time. I admitted to him that I was hurt and stuff, he said sorry, and I knew deep inside me I still loved him. But you see, the moment he came back, a lot of things were already happening in my life. Had my first job, faced a lot of conflicts at home, and he wasnt there beside me when i needed him the most. In my mind, the biggest fear I had was losing him, but I faced that fear. Alone. My pride got the best of me as I shut him off.
After that call, I contemplated a lot, and i do mean a lot. I had a lot of questions in my mind, like why he left, why he never said a thing if he didnt want us to continue. See, when i asked all of this to him, all he answered was that he panicked. In my mind i was like what the heck. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT.
After a week I called him, and its as if nothing changed, asked him the same questions but made sure to be more specific. Asked him why he never showed himself, and i got the same answers. A little voice in my gut whispered to me that this guy had the guts talking and coming at me two months later when he himself knows he aint ready for me.
So i cut him off. But that wasnt the end. I still was so curious about this guy, cause yep. I was hooked, or obsessed at one point, you name it. So yes, I investigated about him. >> continuing part two