Dear Diary,
Why is it that everything has to be overwhelming? Medical issues, money, food, social media, people, society. Just even trying to talk about simple things and people get up in arms. Personally I like that I can debate with people and respect that people have a different opinion than me. But lately, everything seems...wrong...and too different. Have I lost my mind? ...or has everyone else? LoL, I asked my friend and he told me that he believed in the Conspiracy Theory that the world ended in 2012...I don't know, he almost has a point.
(((hobbies, cooking, personal health...babble))) So I am still working on trying to get back into cooking. I have my first boxes from Green Chef (keto meals for hubby) and Purple Carrot (vegan meals for me)... They were actually fun to cook, it was nice having all the variety of ingredients. But there's a limit to the quantity...The Green Chef meals are perfect for my husband who only really seems to eat one meal a day... But my meals, there's only like 6-8 servings, and I eat...2-3 meals a day...so they give you all these great meal plans and recipes and ideas...but it's still the same issue...i am not able to get my hands on all the ingredients, and places like thrive market, and amazon pantry and other grocery delivery services don't deliver to my area... the meal plans are kinda expensive...but they are portioned ingredients, and things i cannot regularly get my hands on...i mean it's hit or miss to even get a simple eggplant 80% of the time... So cooking is still sad...and i am still having issues with it. I still want to buy things my hubby nor I can eat and cook it...cause I love cooking, but that's such a waste of money. We had to take a pay cut to move here, and with the meal plans...i really have to watch my spending. So...now what i love has become a chore, and a bother, and unless it's cooking something from the meal plan boxes...i have to force myself to make, simply because i'm hungry, and i'm out of meals from my box...I bought like cross stitching, but i cannot find my holder to work on it, and i had some coloring books, but i finished them and all my pencils are getting really small...and i tried to order a treadmill, but when i finally got it after a few months it wasn't want i thought, and it was like a death trap...it was not motorized and the belt moved really fast and with no tension, and it was small, for like a dog or child...things just seem like a let down, and a waste of time and money anymore. Where has my happiness gone...and how do i find it again?
(((trigger warning, mild politics, and high opinions...but just venting really))) In my personal opinion, I do not like socialistic ideas for this nation, but I respect people who have that view, i was talking to 2 friends...as soon as I said that I don't have that same opinion they start to yell at me, and we have been long time friends, but he refuses to talk to me anymore. I feel that the medical system needs fixed, but it needs fixed by the "sue you" tribe getting some restraints, and re-worked, and I feel that insurance companies need to be re-worked and lower costs, and add coverages, and I feel that can lead a path to re-working the medical supply and expense costs them selves, and feel that it's all the root of the problem. My other friend refused to understand that government provided health care is a socialistic ideology, and that alot of views they had were socialistic. I even pulled up definitions of things, and examples, and articles, and they just said it was all lies and that the government owed them everything. But for that to work in the US, we will have to completely change our government and how it works. It was not founded nor made to work on socialism, and personally, I don't like those changes. ...So don't get me wrong!! I actually enjoyed the talks and debates with the one person, and they respected my talks, and we are still friends, but the other person...wouldn't even talk or respect my views...I guess it's better they are not in my life anymore i want to say. Friendship should be on mutual respect, and the right to a difference of opinion... I try to say "oh well" but it really hurts for some reason. I know that my friends and I all feel there really hasn't been a real election in a long time, it all just seems like popularity and who you feel is the maybe a little better person then the other but they have been mostly horrible people...either not very strong leaders, or not alot of morals, or just out for themselves...it's hard to say...I know that I don't like anyone that's running...I will probably what i've done for the last few elections, and write someone's name in again.
(((work and sleep grumbles))) So "we" (my work team) have just finished shift rotation...every 2 months we take turns going to the next rotation in the schedules for 24 hour coverage at work. My hubby is now on night shift and i am on days...sadly so that we will never be on shift together so that we can have weekends together. I just, cannot find myself sleeping at night now that he isn't home, and he is tired when he gets home and sleeps while i am working...it's rough, and i miss him so much...even though he is in the other room i feel like we are miles apart most of the time. =( ugg...