Dear Diary,
I can write a book if I can leave a diary open in public
It has the potential to be so good, but Im a little out of practice
I havent written anything since I was in the tribal grounds literary club. I still have that red shirt from high school. I was pretty good at writing back then
If no one sees me try it doesnt matter that im practicing and just gathering my memories
So I can tell my loved ones to me you are all so damn legendary
If no one sees but you its fine because you are remembered and loved, and I made sure to keep saying your names when life was most difficult
Man
I felt so safe I shared my memories at a psychiatric hospital. In one I was called a liar and just a mental patient, im too crazy and smart to be real...
But in the end it doesnt matter
I found a safe place to share and everyone is listening
They understand that because of how I look, because I am disabled, I am the worlds most unreliable source. According to all of them it doesnt matter, its such a good story.
Tell me another
Really? You like this?
These are my memories
But it is impossible to confirm to deny the truth
Even if I was "perfect" there is scientific proof that everyones memories are unrealiable anyways, but its like the truth is right there, take it or leave it
They are just my memories of people I can prove existed
But I have to be careful
Too many eyes
Edward Snowden
Why do I keep having to remind people he is real, he is a stranger to me, but I know he is telling the truth
Why does everyone keep trying to forget that lesson? Soooooo much red tape to dodge
The only right way to do this
Is to make the main character a modern female forest gump. It kind of hurts cuz it is a good movie but everyone keeps repeating the tragedy
No one was willing to believe he was smart enough to love a jenny
Jenny is always too good for him until shes dead
But we kind of hate Jenny cuz shes such a bitch
Wow
I really am a joke to some
No one will believe sgt noe exists
No one will believe he once said I am good enough
No one listened when I said I love him
He really is such a nice guy, he doesn't have to love me back. All Im trying to show all you men is that nice guys do exist, no they don't finish last in my world. And yes they always look like supermodels but I kind of dont want to admit that
Look, this man is an ugly liar over here. He is ugly inside and out right? You see that ugly thing right?
Look at this beauty I found
Damn it he opened my eyes to so much love in the middle of a horrible war
⁰To everyone else I love you because we became a real family in Afghanistan
But for this one person
Im just an available choice and it is finally a real choice
No one threatens him
No matter what he decides
Promise me if I tell you about him
I WILL SOMEHOW GET A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE WHERE HE IS HAPPY
No matter what I know I am going to divorce my best friend, he never gets a fair trial
But it doesnt matter
He promised true love
You gave him 4 chances
But he is not allowed a 5th
Cuz if he steals that from you,
I promise we will come back and make him hurt
Because now all these veterans are looking at me
And they keep asking me behind his back
Why are you on trial for a guy like that?
Damn that is my best friend, and I am trying so hard to defend him and he keeps embarrassing me in front of all these veterans and most are white. Why do you keep reminding its cuz hes brown and bad cops exist???
Because sure, itd 2020
Sure the 1960s/1970s happened.
Everyone says they want to live in Martin luther kings dream
But all I see are a bunch of humans trying to play a victim card, but what they are really saying
In america we live in a world of black and white
People forget about all these different versions of brown?
Why are all these humans from all these different colors fighting over the title slavemasters
But you dont understand
All slavemasters turn ugly with that power
No matter what it is possible to have a consensual slave and it can be beautiful
Its just a little kinky but cool cuz consent is awesome
Because it really is that simple
If you can't tell if its consensual
If you steal a safeword
If you ignore a no or a stop
If your really not sure
Then there is no way it could be consensual. You stole someones free will.
You keep screaming Im sure it was consensual
But you refuse to look at your victims pain
And yeah we all need to admit it, we are all pieces of shit
I am too because when I was living in a flashback
Sure its relatable because mental illness
But innocent civilians got too close and wanted to help
But im not there...they've never seen Afghanistan, but somehow im back and I can't see clearly all I can see is bad blood all over my home.
Fuck a dead body
Zombie
Corpse
Shit
Fight
Your a veteran like us its not your fault
It doesnt matter
These civilians gave me a chance to just be cool, but they got too close at the wrong time
I have to live with the reality that these people once called me s friend
But I have evidence I betrayed that trust and became their living nightmare, it doesnt matter if I hurt
I caused a lot of suffering cuz sorry
Something reminded me of all the dead bodies I saw in Afghanistan
Its the one thing I dont want to remember
But the only way to make this go away is if I stop trying to be nice
Hi dumb civilians
If you ever meet a combat veteran
Especially if its a stranger
Dont fucking ask about dead bodies
Dont ask about murder
Dont talk about war like its fun or a game
We were all just people there
I was just 18, the age you are now
I saw so many strong people die
Because they are fighting to save someone they love, a family member, another human being
But friendly fire is real
Its not always an accident because the moment you see too much
Is the moment see too much you go crazy
That man was a father his babies will never remember cuz now hes in a body bag
Twins trying to just survive, one is a boy one is a girl. They are both just 19 and they are in body bags.
Then I saw a wife and mother
Again body bag
Its the worst thing
Because everytime there is a new one
Theres a chance its someone from my family and I just want my family to make it out alive. Get it now children. We are in college, english class.
Yep I am giving you the dirtiest look and your just a kid
But your proudly yelling, "fuck yeah, lets go to war with north korea cuz were Americans who do what we want cuz we have a strong military! Let's go to war for this movie yay!"
Oh wow
Look me in the eyes and say that again
Am I a fucking joke to you?
I'm telling your right here right now
My family doesn't deserve to die so you can watch a dumbass movie
They are far more valuable to me then your dumbass battle cry of victorious war. Ive been to war, ive seen so many dead bodies
If my family has to die over a movie
IM THE REAL DEAL
FUCK THAT MOVIE
FUCK YOUR VERSION OF FREEDOM
I WONT LET MY FAMILY DIE OVER THIS
YOU GET IT NOW?
THIS DEBATE IS NOT A GAME
YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A REAL BOMB
THAT I LIVED TO SEE
I CANT FORGET
OH WOW FINALLY SILENCE...
WOW
IM A TEACHER AND SHE BEGGED FOR THE DEVILS ADVOCATE CARD
I DIDNT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT
THE STUDENT JUST BECAME THE TEACHER
IM SORRY I BROUGHT UP THIS DEBATE
LETS JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOW
FUCKING THANK YOU!