July 28, 2020

 

I ate a whole thing of Ben and Jerry's ice cream today.  


Its not cause I'm upset or anything, I think I was just bored and didn't know what to fill my time up with outside of eating.  It's a little bit annoying because I've developed my active life style and I typically have all of my days planned ahead, but when my roommate is around those plans typically go out the window. I didn't make any plans for today since I had to stream so it was pretty much come home, eat, and then nothing before it was time to stream.  I don't know, I wanted to do my own thing but it's a little hard because we don't like the same kind of videos on YouTube and I wasn't feeling anything that he liked. And I didn't want to practice guitar because I don't want him to hear me play happy birthday before his actual birthday, but I really need to practice. Gosh, there is only a week until then.  Normally he would be at work, but he called off because things have been getting super rough for him.  I hope he takes the change in his job. I know he won't be paid as much, but he can still live comfortably on a dollar less than what he is making now.  I say that, but when we did the math it's like dang, that's a whole 80$ he would be missing each check also dang, because if I made just a dollar more each hour I could have a lot more cool things lol.  But the change in job would reduce his stress so much and increase the time he was able to spend writing.  I want to tell him that the starving artist is a trope for a reason, there definitely is a lot less work stress that comes with it. 


I found out that my coworker is going to be coming back on Monday. I hate that. I should give her a chance, I know because maybe covid changed something in her. But constantly working with someone's ornery grandmother is only so tolerable. I almost said something to my manager when she told me she'd be back. Maybe I should have. But oh well, I need to go through and restore her table back to how it should be. I've stolen her cleaner, her tape, her markers, and her scissors. Honestly, I didn't think she'd be coming back. It's been over a month and a half since quatentine. I kind of thought she was sick or secretly died. 


But as part of this, I'm glad it's taken so long for her to come back. For one, I didn't want her to be the first person IRL to know my bf and I broke up and I definitely didn't want her around while I was unstable and crying all day. Now that my mom knows and I've been talking in this diary, my mind feels like I can handle it if my coworkers all found out, which this woman is the rumor mill of my workplace, so I really hope she doesn't find out. But if she asks the right questions I probably will break down. I have no poker face. It worked out tho.


Also, I feel really bad about eating that whole thing of ice cream. Lets see if I can convince myself to jog tomorrow morning. 

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