July 27, 2020

Today will be a week since I received my sunburn. 

Everything except my chest is mostly healed now. Last night I peeled the dead skin off of my arms. Peeling the skin is the best part of having sunburn. It's so satisfying to peel it. I hate that it itches. 

But god does my chest itch. It's so bad right now as I'm typing this. It's almost like it was getting better for four days and then just stopped. I can sleep on my sides with minimal pain now, though. My chest hurts more during the day doing various activities. Maybe it's the constant contact with my shirt rubbing against it or maybe it's my skin stretching and folding with my movements. I don't know. I just know it hurts.

I want to just peel the skin and be over with it, but it's not ready. It's still so very red. I've peeled around the edges of my chest sunburn and those places screamed at me in response and grew some ugly looking scabs. I need to leave it alone but maintaining that level of self-control is hard. It's a wonder how I survived four tattoos without peeling any of them. 

I'd rather have a painful tattoo than ever be sunburned again. 

The most painful tattoo experience I felt was when the artist used an "outliner" needle over skin that she had already tattooed over. Never had I told either of the tattoo artists I've had to stop, but I was really close with that one. 

I take pride in the fact that I've never cried or even came close to tearing up from a tattoo. My ex-fiancé got his first tattoo just minutes before me and he had cried a couple of tears. Then I got mine and I called him a pussy. 

It's hard to believe that I used to be so scared of the idea of getting a tattoo. Not because of the permanence, but the pain that everyone talks about. They really don't hurt much more than being scratched by a cat. 

Now, any time that I'm feeling down, or happy to be honest, I want a tattoo. I always want tattoos though. I don't want to be covered in them or even have sleeves, but there are so many things I want.