July 24, 2020

 

Today I made some great improvements.  I was finally able to allow myself to communicate more with my co-workers than my usual short responses.  I had a conversation with someone.  It was easy knowing that he had mentioned building a gaming PC so talking games was a safe bet.  The conversation made me a little bit emotional.  He is super transparent and it was nice to get a little glimpse as to how some people see me.  They know I'm guarded and that I need to be comfortable with others before I feel safe to have a conversation.  I'm a good person and I'm cute and funny.  That's really nice and a good boost of confidence.  In the same way, I let myself wear my back brace all day today. I was always afraid to wear it because I didn't want that conversation as to why I was wearing it.  I usually hid it. But today I walked around with it in full display because honestly, it doesn't matter.  Like why am I so afraid of being, doing, saying the wrong thing.  I don't need to be limiting myself in these ways.

I helped a lot of people today. There was no reason not to.  I could have spent my lunch browsing reddit, but instead I thought everyone how to use the new computer system. They were all super grateful. And the same with after when I did my bonus stream and had people sell items in my town for a good price. Whee. Today was just a good day. I love seeing all the regulars that I have on my stream. It was super nice to meet new people through twitch. I look forward to every new friend I meet in the future.

Good day today.  But now I'm so exhausted.
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