July 20, 2020
I don't know if anyone will ever see or read this but I have to share some of my thoughts.
Lately I feel more burnt out than ever. I decided to take a year long break from my Training to become a daycare Teacher. I'm in the last year and would have gotten my dagree in September this year but it is to much pressure. Over the last year a lot of things went wrong and I need a year to figure things out, before I restart again.
Worst part is I don't know how to tell my parents, because there is a lot of pressure especially from my mom.
And I am afraid of doing even the first step: Making an appointment by a psychologist...
I swear lately I freak out when my phone rings, wake up with a stomach ache, because I need to go to work and literally everything feels like it is to much for me.
I just want to lay in bed all day long and ignore the rest of the world.
I emotionally flip out everytime I'm under stress and could cry on a daily basis...
I feel lost and like nothing more than a pesky Mosquito in this world.
I have no impact on this world and don't really matter.
-Cooky
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