Dear Diary, Josh left. He said we would raise the little girl together but he's gone. Just like that.
I noticed his things missing this morning, but i needed to study for an important exam so i thought he'd gone to visit his mom, but when he didn't come back until the afternoon, i called the woman. She said she didn't see him at all. His suitcase and all of his clothes are gone. He really left me didn't he? I wouldn't have gotten an abortion anyway, but i should've known he never intented to be a father after all. I get it, he's young, but i'm young too, and i didn't mean for this to happen.
I haven't told anyone yet, i'm still shaken. I'll probably call Holly first, then my mom. But not right now. I just need to rest and think about everything. Maybe i should give the little girl up for adoption. Maybe that's the best thing for both of us. I never liked kids, never connected with them. I have no idea how i'm supposed to be a mother (and a single one). When Josh was here, everything looked optimistic but now that he's gone...i can see i won't be a good mother. Maybe i knew it all along, even if Josh always assured me we would be great parents as long as we had each other.
Maybe he found someone else to be with, i could care less.
Actually, i'm crying right now but that doesn't mean i care about him or what he did. He made his choice and i made mine.
My mom never liked him. From the moment she knew i was pregnant with his child, her attitude towards both of us changed. I knew then that she only pretended to like him while we were together because she was waiting for us to break up. That never happened. At least, until now.
It's obvious that i'm broken up with right? It's okay, she'll just tell me that she knew Josh wasn't a nice man and that i should've kept my legs closed.
I'm gonna go call Holly now. I need to feel like someone is with me right now.