May 17, 2020
He said he needs time to figure stuff out. Okay whatever. He's had time. At this point I feel like I should just tell him "never mind, forget it." How long he has taken to make up his mind shows that he already made it up. He's just trying to find a polite way to tell me he's through. I feel like I'm just being strung along.
I made a fucking mistake and apologized profusely. Let's move on.
He's worried that I'll just "jump to conclusions" about something in the future again. First of all, people can change. Second of all, I'm not under "normal" circumstances. I'm out of work due to covid19 and not wanting to get my almost 70 year old grandma sick. I don't always act like how I am currently. I'm more depressed than usual since I'm being forced to stay at home. This isn't how I normally am!
I'm fucking sorry that I'm not perfect. Take me as I am or not at all. Just don't waste my fucking time.
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