April 29, 2020

Dear Diary,

I was cleaning out my computer today and ran across some old pictures.  Some pictures of good memories and some of bad.  I am so tired of the bad memories.  Maybe it's just my depression that is even making the good memories sad.  My parents were younger and so full of energy, my grandparents that have all passes away now.  Age, time, it all slips away.  People grow and change so fast.  

Some of the bad memories were from some events that also haunt my dreams.  I will leave those for the dream journals.

I still haven't gotten my test results back yet from my follow up on my kidneys.  I know that the doctors and people that I have been seeing for treatments have been telling me that I should go vegan since they feel that the animal protein is hard on my kidneys.  I go about 3-4 days and then break down, just really want like a burger, or chicken, or something...  I have no idea how to curb that.  If I don't at least try for a month I won't ever know if it will actually help or not.  I want to give it a try, but damn it, where is my will power...