January 13, 2020, Things are taking so much time...


Dear Diary,

Everything i do, takes a lot of time, a lot more than i anticipate. I thought that adding a small feature would hardly take an hour, and it took my entire day. Entire day is gone in adding a little thing. And the bigger features takes me weeks and by the time i am about to finish that, i feel so less confiedent about it, that i dont feel like releasing it. 

The notification blocker app, which i thought would only take a few hours at max, took me so many days to finish. And now when its almost done, i dont feel like giving it that final touch, because i feel so irritated now, the pile of things i have to do keeps increasing and i am not able to finish them. 

I know, i have to be calm and pick them up one by one. But i dont know why i feel so irritated. I dont feel like picking up anything. Also because i am not seeing any meaning in doing these. Its just that i am doing, in a hope that they may somehow help me someday, but i don't know, i feel, it's only time pass. And i want to do something meaning full, i have very less time, i am getting older. 

But what is meaningful, i dont know. I fucking dont know anything. Aagghh..