Dear Diary, I wanted to be a singer when I was young and I even won on my city competition with song "Alteun ay"("golden moon" from bashkir language), after that I was singing in school chorus but stopped at 13 years because singing wasn't my passion. In 2012 or 2014 idk I send phone video of me singing "checkmate" and "beautiful goodbye" to famous music company but I was already old so at least I tried. That year I also posted picture of me holding picture of this company's dancer whom I RESPECTED and wrote negative comment about singer whom he visited when she was ill. I think it is the only explanation why people since 2016-2017 made it look like I repeat her accident but with my boy that I liked who is actually not even similar to that dancer. And since act of terrorism was before this dancer's birthday in St.PETERsburgh people connected it to another female singer which looks like female version of this dancer or they tried to make her a third person like PETRA from Chris Cleave's "incendiary"???? Because I know that people somehow know what books I read in the past ( because I saw how celebrities said or did the same things at the same time with main characters from books that I read at that time). Then why people tried to make ME the third person if I don't love girls??!!! They even forced me to pretend that I love some girls instead of boy to as they said "save boy from dying".It is so rude and unfair as if I can't even have feelings for boy because he will die if I won't find someone else. because they made everything to people think that MY male version is the worst man on earth. I know that because every time I posted something or searched or said...press released news about criminals or movie villains or just men with similar face/skin colour/body structure. If people associate all of them with me because of looks or same taste then people are really try to kill me.
So about singing...ah...in 2016-2017 I send my phone record of me singing "One more time" and "Numb" on russian show "Voice". Later that year Chester Bennington died and there was act of terrorism in Manchester city on concert. After boy whom I liked died his hair blonde I thought about all the dead stars, why he copies them? They more look like me than him. Someone just cant stop killing me and associate all the catastrophy with my actions. I don't understand why. For example: I havent listened rock music for a long time but last year in april I went to youtube and watched "your love is a lie" and the same day Notre Dame de Paris has burned. Someone just cant stop chasing me.