I guess I feel like everything is put on me, like I'm the reason why so and so happens. Example, recently my step mom sent my sister to come up and get me for us to do something. My sister knocked on the door and I awnsered, she didn't respond. So I ignored it thinking it was just my imagination. So a few minutes passed and my sister came into my room and pretty much yelled at me for not coming down. I told her that she didn't say anything. She pretty much blamed me that I'm the reason why that out doors will be taken off. So I went down stairs and my step mom bitches at me for the samething. It's like, I didn't hear her. It's like I said "what" 3 times and I had no respond. She bitches at me because of it but not my sister, she is worst than me about it. I'm sitting here dumb founded like "how the fuck dare you" Then she has the audacity to threaten to take our doors off. When 1, I have my door open all day so I can hear when she calls for us, I also never have my earbuds in unless I'm drawing at night. The only time when I have my door closed is when my step mom is putting my nephew to bed and I keep it shut till I go to bed, when I'm changing, and when I'm asleep. Those are the only times I have my door shut. My sister keeps her door open until she changes or goes to bed, but other than that she has her headphone up high and can bearly hear our step mom call for us. I'm the only one that hears and respond to her. Even if she calls my sister's name. It's like why blame me for it when you should be blaming my sister. Another time is when I lost my BFF, my dad put the blame on me there. Another time is when there was an argument within a friend group of mine. One person put the blame all on me. Sometimes I feel like I should be better off dead. Like I keep calling out for help but I feel like I have no one to reach out too. With my anger issues I have and easy migraines shit dose not help what so ever. Plus I think it's a invasion of privacy that kids have. So doesn't help me. I hate that I take my anger out on myself, biting and hitting at myself. My art and music can only take me so far with calming me down. I just don't know what else to do at this point. I'm woned emotionally as it is and adding stress and anger in doesn't help. I don't know what else to do. Right now I'm at a dead end with myself.
To end for now -Broken Doll