Dear Diary, sometimes I just go nuts with Manon n his new girlfriend only a block away. I want to go up there n spy n maybe see him. I honestly hope I'll see them arguing. It really doesnt matter though. It only leaves me feeling even more lonely than before. I still can't stop texting him though. I think of a reason at least once a day to text him about something. But he doesnt respond hardly ever. N I know this so why do I torture myself every single day. I've been in love with him close to 20 years. N for him to just walk off after so long cuz of some girl up the street has driven me mad. Maybe someday I will get past this. I really wish he didnt live do damn close. Cuz even though it's raining n I know I will only feel worse I know I'm gonna walk up there sometime tonight.