August 22, 2019

 

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling happy today .A little anxious and nervous. But good. I want to thank all the people who prayed for me. Especially mom, I know when you pray for me, nothing can stop good things from happening..


I'm feeling a little confused too...I know I keep doing things because well like lot of others I think, there's only 1 life and if I don't do it now, when I am gonna do it?

I don't want to sit back one day at 60 and think, wait, was that it? ...Was that all my life was?...


But sometimes, I pause and think, wait, where am I going with all this...I have no clue...But I still go on, because well I have to and I hope even if things don't make sense now, one day they'll and I'll be proud of my decisions looking back. It's okay to have a fucked up life for reasons that are out of my control, but  to be the reason that contributes to the fuck up...Nah.  I don't want to contribute any. In the end all I want is a little happiness, a little satisfaction in life, and some reasons to validate my existence made a good impact for earth. ..Is that too much to ask for? ..


Anyways lets stop with the nonsense philosophy. Siri was in town last weekend......Surprises have never felt more pleasant.  I went down to get dinner and there she was. It's so nice, isn't, when someone who makes you feel happy and hopeful and loved turns up just like that in front of you.....We couldn't have a lot of fun, because I had other things to worry about in the back of my head. but it seems she might turn up next week too...In that case, I'll make up next week. Maybe go around a bit...


What else? I tried paradise biryani today...I waited for so many months to see the offer on swiggy so I could finally feel like I can afford it. And today there was a 60% off and I was so excited.  However when I ate it, all the hype felt like it was for nothing.it didn't taste special at all. Actually I was trying so hard to figure out why people love it so much. ..I've tasted cheap railway station biryani with better taste.  


Have you ever looked forward to something so much, and eventually when it happened, it turned out to be nothing special and then you wondered why you spent so much time pining for it... Well atleast I only pine for biryani...Others pine for worse things..Lol

Anyways,..I am looking forward to a lot of things in the coming days...startimg my ar-ux project. And reading books. Space apps.singing. and so much more..


Sayonara,

M. 






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