Dear Diary,Update: I've been depressed for a long time and quite useless. My ECT doctor said "don't wait for motivation. It doesn't arrive like magic. When you start feeling better just start projects. Well, I finally feel alive again ...... But there is so much to do. Melissa has done so much but she can't do it all and its unfair to leave it all on her. I finally created two checklists; 1 Chores/Tasks and 1 Personal Goals. Now I'm trying to push myself to begin somewhere. No rush but no more procrastination either. I'm not sure where to begin but Tegan's chaos called a bedroom and going through all of her clothes is a start. I also want to achieve personal goals. Its overwhelming. But doing nothing is not going to help that. Open to suggestions.