July 28, 2019

 

Dear Diary,


Tonight 11:25pm missing him..this amazing man..been a min since i seen him..i keep telling myslf if he cares he shld miss me to but i barely get a text then he dnt rember my words...cruahed my heart...he sd he nt busy but ddnt rember wht we tlked abt..crushed..mayb i just miss him so im sensitive abt him and wht he say and do..looking looking for some sign his heart is really mine..sometime i feel lke he is n my head..hate the thght of tht..want to knw whts ceazy ..sometime i feel him clise but im lke no way my head tripping..but i ferl him..i still try to rember his sent but i see his smile daily!!smile tht mke me smile..his day definded my day..for sme1 to hve such control of my heart of my soul..worried abt that..he can crush me..crush me..i wish he open up to me cuzz i need to ...to him..crazy right needing and wanting him n 1..his lips is all i see all i want..but he dnt love me so strnge cuzz i figure ways to just see him but he xan go long time b4 i get wyd text..never hd sex but mentality felt him deep nsde tiring me frm nsde out..screaming to feel his touch..dnt understnd..do he feel for me..sme1 told me he n my life for revenge..he can walk away from me..i mght can tlk shit but just a smile frm him or his arms near me mke me forgive everything anything..scares me for im n love but he can walk away..he can just walk..and say its enough but for me i wld go thru hell and firestones over and over if n the end he and i is 1...how xan he make me feel as if im nt worthy or not good enough..he act like he hate me but send the most beautiful songs my way that i hild close just to smile frm his smile..how can uwalk away..how can u not yearn for as i yearn for u..i pray for him everyday to keep him sfe n tge streets fighting for that bag..that bag..so many things running n my head..why u dont love like i love u..my D......lost tears ..lost..needing and waNting him..just him..my luv..my lost luv🌹💋💙🔱

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