July 28, 2019

 

Dear Diary,


I'm gonna write on this app everything that I can't say in my daily life, without a filter. So better introduce myself first, since it's kinda fun to know what the people who wrote looks like. So I guess my first entry is about myself.




I never really talk about myself. Basically cause I think that there's way more interesting people than me. I know I shouldn't compare but still...

I'm 19 years old, soon to be 20. I already feel old tho. I am a transgender boy, meaning I was born with a vajayjay~* but now I want people to say mister instead of madam. I want all of the surgeries but have none at the moment, but I'm gonna have my chest soon! I'm so excited ~ I also want to start testosterone this year and maybe get a little extra something next year.

I'm pretty tall (5"9) and average sinze I guess. I've always hated my height, I wanna be a smoll bean ,_, My natural hair is curly and blonde, I usually keep them just above the ears. But not to lomg ago I got a really bad haircut and now they're very short (and pink). Gonna let them grow. Cause I might be a boy but it doesn't mean I don't wanna be feminine. I love the pink tho. My eyes are boring deep brown, They're pretty small, got them from my mother's side. People usually assume I have some Asian genes, but nope. My nose isn't big but still is a bit round at the tip. And my lips are average I guess...


My body's weird. I have big shoulders (not THAT big) so I look more in shape than I am. I have pretty thicc thighs and butt, that's cause my fat hates me. I also have a tattoo on my right thigh, it's a snake with some flowers. It's pretty big. 


My style is...special? I wear clothes that are too big for me (I like to be comfortable) and they're pretty much all black. I wear pants cause I don't like jeans. But I'm gonna go on a shopping spree soon and I'm gonna buy some cute clothes! I just have to wait until I'm not as poor. I also wear glasses, big ugly ones. 


Now for my personality. I like to think I'm kind, I treat people how I want them to treat me. Of course there's some jerks out there but who cares? I don't get offended or mad by many things. I get emotional tho. I'm a big crybaby, I cried at my job once because someone was being rude to me. I'm very calm and shy, I'm never the first one to start a conversation. I guess I have a resting bitch face cause people don't talk to me often. I'm really open and generous. I try to be as honest as I can, but not when it might hurt people's feeling. My self-esteem is pretty low, but I really don't care what people think about me, just what I think about myself. 


As for my sexuality, I'm gay. I love men´* I'm a virgin and I haven't even kiss anyone. I'm just not into one night stand and things like that. I also take a long time before really considering someone as friend so I can't even imagine loving someone like that right now. I watch porn from time to time but I always end up just thinking about how bad it is. Why can't I have some plot in my porn?! I guess I could say I have some fetishes, I like guys with glasses, getting my hair pulled, wearing cute lingerie, being a dominating bottom, cosplay... All that cute stuff. Probably more to be honest but I won't know until I have a boyfriend. Like I said, I'm pretty honest and I don't think that there's anything wrong about openly talking about sex. 




So that's it for now, I'm kinda tired from talking that much about myself. Plus I'm working tomorrow at a job I hate. Thank you for reading that far, will write more.

Axl 🍑

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