AM i brave or not...

Dear Diary,

It's about bade papa and chacha today. And about me and Dad. And Mom too. 

So yesterday i went to that home, just to see if the wall was weakening. And i found out, chacha and bade papa are also there. And i found out ki chacha bade papa ko nikal rahen hen ghar se. It hurts me. That home, nobody is living there anyway, why does chacha want to do that. And dont they feel anything about bade papa, where will he go ? Is humanity just lost ? How can one see his brother cry and not help him. Because he is illiterate and poor, people want to exploit him even more and they leave no chance for doing so. Whats wrong with people.

My dad, when he was here, he stood for baed papa, i remember earlier also when chacha send bade papa into another house, my mom and dad brought him back into this home. But now when dad is gone, there is no one to care for him.

When i found out this yesterday, i went inside, to meet chacha, hoping that, maybe if he sees me, it'll remind him of dad and he wont do it. He wont throw bade papa out. Maybe he'll re consider, that there is no point in doing that. 

He asked me to come in, sit, and asked for tea and smiling at me, like nothing is wrong. Duniya kitni matlabi, ya me kahunga shayad kitni bewkoof he, i pity them. For past 20 years, they never called me, asked me how i was doing, or if i got into college or not... and then when i am making money today, them come and talk to me smiling, call me, remember my birthday, and talking about big things, while keeping his elder brother like a dog, just because he is poor. I dont know if its right, but i wish such people should just vanish from the face of earth. Just die. I dont want to talk to them anymore. 

But here comes Me. I want to do something about it, talk to chacha and unko samjhana chahta hoon ki chacha ye sab kyun ? Kyun karna he ye sab ? Chhoti si zindagi, kal shayad saansen nikal jayegi, aaj to pyar se jee leten hen. I think he'll understand. I know that chachi wont. And i dont expect from her. But chacha is my dad's brother, i think he would understand. And i should try it. 

But mom doesnt want me to go near that house. She is still scared that it will harm us. I dont know if chachi has really changed her heart or she still has some motive for talking to me again (I really doubt, even my best friend wouldn't remember my exact birthday, but she does, exact date, why does she remember so much about us). But even if she has some motive, i cannot be scared and do nothing about it. My dad knew it, i know he knew, yet he faced it bravely. He did what he had to do. And so should i. I dont want to hurt mom, i know she has valid concern, but am i brave or not ? 

I'll give it a try and otherwise i'll just help my brother, i'll earn more money and make him a house of his own. I remember this has been at the top of my mind since forever, since always i wanted to earn money so that i can help Hitesh, and a few more people, i always had this in mind when i was in college, and now when i am earning, i am not doing anything about it. Its slowly fading in my mind. I am just so busy in myself. If i am not doing something today then i am no different from them. I am as bad as them...