May 18, 2019

 

Dear Diary,

These days, i am not learning much. U remember when i came here first after college and all the friends said the jobs were boring and they dint like it, and i used to say i love my work, i am so lucky. Because i was learning new things everyday. These days, most of time revolves around looking back and forth on asana, trello and my todo list or talking to sandeep and trying explaining problems to him. 


Even after coming home, i have always worked on something, I would not just eat and sleep, but these days i am doing just that, i am not working on anything, i just come home, eat, talk with mom and sweety and sleep. These days are not adding upto anything big. There is one good thing that my mind doesnt feel overwhelmed now days and since i am sleeping more, the quality of my overall day is better. But i think i have had enough of the rest. I have to get back on track. Or else things i dream will always remain the dreams and then i'll not be able to dream new things. But i want to dream new things, so i have to check the exiting ones off my list. 


My colleagues really inspires me, I am a very slow worker, u already know that. I take time in everything i do. I test the code after writing every single line. But Chaithanya and Akshay(Yeah, he joined us recently) too are very quick. That really inspires me. 


On a total sidenote, Yesterday i was thinking of writing, then i was thinking about, why should i write ? sometimes i imagine that when i'll be gone, maybe people would find it and read the whole diary, and know who i was, but i think probability of that happening is almost close to zero. And anyway why would it matter to me, weather someone is reading about who i was once i have gone. So maybe its just that, without purpose... 

But sometimes i think it helps me understand myself better, when i am writing, my thoughts take a concrete shape and i can be certain about something... 


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