January 06, 2019

 

I'm feeling less and less like myself. Feeling more depressed. More alone. I feel that I am outside my body. Feeling more distant everyday. 

Dealing with my health is a daily struggle. I have Crohn's disease and joint pain. Not knowing how I feel feel from day to day. 

Not have a good paying job. Dealing with debt. Not having enough money to pay for bills. Starting a new/ old job. 

Being stuck with a toddler when I'm not at work. No daycare. On a waiting list for almost 2 years. Not having any free time. 

A boyfriend who doesn't make you feel special. Feeling stuck with him because our child. A guy who wants to spend more time with his family then me. I feel that I am suppose to be the most important person to him. That he actually wants to spend time with me instead of anyone else. I want him to want me. Not just for sex. 

I'm falling deeper into a hole of depression not sure I can get out. 
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