Dear Diary,
Life is becoming so uncertain and surprising...
We met car accident and then a bus accident in one week and i have a near death experience... one more inch, one more second or just one degree angle more in the turn of the car and i wouldn't be writing here... But nothing happens...
Just when i clear my age old doubt of weather i really care about her or just show her that i care about her, just when i find that i actually care so much about her that i would risk my life to save her, thats the day she says that i should move on...
And then just when my mom says bring her home by herself for which i was always unsure weather my mom will accept it or not... The same day we broke up again... Not because we have a fight or we are angry or not because someone cheated or lied... But because we are too good of friends and care about each other and i love her so much and we dont want each other to get hurt in future...
The life feels so uncertain now. And this uncertainty has filled it with an strange emptiness... I dont feel like doing anything now. I am not sad i am not happy, Just empty. I feel like sleeping and sleeping. When i am awake i dont know what to do with the time. Work is something i used to involve myself with previously whenever i felt lost but now i dont feel like working either, i dont feel like jogging or eating... I dont want to talk to anyone about it also, what do i talk i dont know... Whenever i felt like this before i wanted to talk to her and she would always re assures me that its all for the good in the end, but this time i dont know who i should talk to... Or what i should say...
I know that in life we cant have everything we want, so there is no cursing to god also.
I have no complaints to her also... She has always been a good person in my life and she wished the best for me and i think this is difficult for her too...
I dont feel like crying also, i think my heart have had so much more pain that now it doesnt even feel like pain...
it feels like she is gone... and i dont have tears in my eyes... I am just lost... But i feel little surprised and sad about it.. wasn't our love worth few tears... or is it my heart that has forgotten its core now...
The emptiness has filled it all....