May 04, 2018

 

Dear Diary,

It took me an year to calm myself down. To not get anxious on every small thing, To teach myself to not give fuck to everything I see and every small rejections I face. And today it only took one small moment, one small conversation to break all that. Once again i lost that peace of mind I have been preserving for so long, haven't I learnt anything... ? Although I am here, atleast, reflecting on it, and understanding it.But I had expected more from myself. I know that I can't expect everyone and everything to be the way I wish and that these small things dont even have any significance in our life. I think I still need to improve. 



Anyway, That was in afternoon.

Now Evening again, I like evenings, evenings are good, in evening everything becomes good, in evenings I am not angry and I forgive people and let it all go and weather becomes good, sky looks good with clouds, I find people beautiful in evening, i see people walking on sidewalks are happy returning home from office. Guys playing badminton in front of house, It's Friday today, Men with families and kids are out, although I kind of feel empathetic for the man, he always has to be protective about his family and hold hands of kids and all, he cannot be careless when outside, but I kinda find it sweet too, someday maybe I too will have to do all these things, but I think that'll be both exhausting and sweet, and also it gives the otherwise belligerent mind some peace and a purpose which does not just involve his good but a purpose which is about caring for someone else... 

Now I am in bus, going Hampi. I think I am doing good... 



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