Dear Diary,

The thought of killing myself today didn’t feel really bad.

Don’t worry i’m not going to and i’ll never will. It’s just that my chest feels heavy. The suffering never seems to end. I feel that i’m being ungrateful because i have so many things to appreciate in my life. Yet i feel like this almost all the time. I don’t know, am i exaggerating? Or am i right to feel this way? I thought i’d never invalidate my feelings this way again but here i am. I broke down an hour ago i wanted to rush to my room and start bawling my eyes out but then i found my sister doing her online exam there. I wanted to wait till she’s done but i didn’t want to lose this chance to let it out my chest. You know it’s hard to summon your tears whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Because you’ll just feel more weight on your shoulders down to your stomach until the heaviness paralyzes u that can’t even stand on your feet. This is exactly how i’m feeling right now because i didn’t get to cry and let it all

I’m just gonna stop here i don’t have the energy to finish this note

Farewell <3

I’ll just meditate and maybe play some game to feel better i locked myself in my room in hopes to maybe cry and bush this huge lump out of my throat but i guess we’re stuck w it for today <3

Cooper Blue's Dear Diary