Dear Diary,

Its funny how time passes. Looking back, it feels the last one was just yesterday. And yet so much has happened.

I feel i am really lucky, and i am really grateful for everything i have in life, and for all the people who loves me so much. I know not everyone has it.

This year i got wonderful gifts, really meaningfuls. meera(2 gifts =D ), chaithanya, dawrani, surendra, raja and i know my little sister is planning some surprise too =D, which i would see in morning. I feel little sad, i didn't do anything for her bday, bought a small pastry for her, but she took a leave from office today to make something for me, i am really lucky, luckiest and most selfish brother...

I am grateful for my wonderful mother, who can keep my bday plans secret =D and with whom I don't miss dad much these days.

Summary of last year:

I started with vipassana, transformed into more positive and fearless, confident and more courageous. Lost some weight, looked better. And learnt how much i am attached to myself. Began to find out, who i am really. Realized how i can be just awesome without these attachments and fear. I met girls in train and on airport and on bus stops =D. Met Judy, Believed i could be a star seed. Believed in limitless possibilities. And yet be aware that we are all just passing by, that everything is just passing by.

Experienced -20 degrees and the serenity of mountains. And realized that the best part of life is friends, like minded ones, jyoti, rohit. With people we make memories and memories become the light in the darkness.

Had a new year party at home. Went a little extreme.

Kiot started taking in OEMs. Changed our business model entirely.

Monika's wedding and my speech on stage.

Di came here, spent days with kohinoor, i wish i had good memory so i could never forget playing with her and all her kartabs =D

Met her after years, yet it dint feel like we hadn't see each other in really long time.

I start developing an ego, my self confidence started turning into ego and i couldn't realize it.

Had a fight with akshay in office, felt sorry for it later.

Lockdown kicks in

A new ritual, morning and evening meetings with team starts. I always wanted to work from home so i could spend more time with mom. But it turns out its difficult for me to work from home, i am not much disciplined, and i fall asleep quickly at home.

A major blow in April, Akshay leaves kiot. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't, i think i can understand why he wouldn't stop. I felt very low in that moment, the confidence i had was because of the team, we were doing great(at-least i was thinking) and in one simple mail, it was gone.

Bhavna leaves Kiot, that broke me a little. A little too much. I felt lost. No more confidence.

I have a hard time in office.

I look forward to saturdays and our small outings/movies. Then she goes home, and i go to office every Saturday now.

Sandeep's dad passed away.

Ramesh Leaves.

We mark 25th OEM Partner.

Set a record of 37 App updates in a day.

I find a new inspiration in Chaithanya. I feel like doing more.

But confidence is still at bay.

Here i am today. Dedicate

Not many achievements this year, no side hustle, dedicated to kiot this year.

But Few important things i learnt last year -

The wall between us and happiness is Attachment. Another things is the resistance to `What is`. Resistance to reality.

Learnt to let go of my ego.

We cant lead a wonderful team by telling them what to do, we have to give them space to do what they want to do.

Value of Respect and appreciation.

Friendship is real Joy.

Your work is a big part of your joy.

Books i read

The things we can see only when we slow down

40 rules of love

I started other books - startup playbook, clean code etc, but found boring.

Now, Most exciting part, As always, here goes my list of things, like always, i want to promise myself, that i would do these things this year, for sure.

1. I'll help more people, i'll donate more, for every money i spend on non-essentials, i would parallelly donate 10% of the sum. [DONE]

2. Learn to make kambucha [DONE]

3. Learn Spanish (This time, really give it that final shot). By the end of this year, write a note in full spanish. [PARTIAL]

4. Dedicate this year to the word Fitness, Physical and Mental. I want to live, long to see how the world transforms. But i dont want to be sick when i get old. I want to be able to live it. Meditation and Exercise for at least 300 Days. [PARTIAL]

5. Speak less about yourself and listen more. [PARTIAL]

6. Desperately, meet new people [DONE]

7. Mount Everest base camp [OOPS]

8. Travel more, seriously, this is what you love doing, what's stopping you. [OOPS]

9. Give up laziness, Be more active [PARTIAL]

10. Sleep no more than 6 Hours. 1 to 7. [OOPS]

11. This one is vague, but i want to do a project on AI and space, look into right direction, implement few papers and do it. [OOPS]

12. Give up on attachments and ego for real. [PARTIAL]

13. Be more kind to everyone. [DONE]

14. Be less obsessed with work, take it as a career, a job, not as life. [DONE]

15. Be a better brother and a better son. [OOPS]

16. Write 12 Articles. One for each month. [OOPS]

17. Read atleast 6 books, complete. [PARTIAL]

18. Do one thing at a time. REALLY.[PARTIAL]

19. Write more code. Try to write better everyday. [PARTIAL]

20.

That's all.

I have to face some different kind of challenges too this year, how to convince my family to not get me married, or maybe should i this year ? I am really not sure, i will just have to face it. I think i’ll know it when the time comes.

I am having a feeling, this is going to be a really good year ❤️❤️❤️

BronzeCandyForMyHead's Dear Diary