Fuck my pop...

Of course, kiddo. I was really not sure if I should comment what I did, but I really do hope it helped in any small way. My family is a shit show, and that's putting it nicely. Not the same sort of issues you're going through, but I still get it. I'd love to read an update in your next diary entry, whether things go well or not so great. If my comment here helped at all, maybe I can help more once I know more about the situation and hear how it all plays out. Hoping for the best! Don't be too hard on yourself. Stay busy and out of the house as much as possible, if that's an option. But don't leave your mama to fend for herself either. In time, you'll know the right moves to make.

thank you so much you both are so kind and sportive :)

Be strong things will surely end positive

What's with your po. Sehat he wants. 🫂🫂🤧

Well, this sounds like an extremely toxic environment for anyone to have to grow up in. I'm assuming you're underage, considering the circumstances you described. I'm also assuming that your "pop" is your grandfather, and your mother's father. Hopefully that's all correct, otherwise what I'm about to comment won't make much sense. It sounds like your pop is literally using YOU, his grandchild, for one of two reasons: he's either using you as the only way he thinks will motivate your mother to get a job, which may be something that will benefit her and your entire household. OR, he's using you as a threat, because he's selfishly expecting your mother to find a job when that isn't exactly so easy in the current economy (assuming you're in America). I guess, the reasons for why your pop is behaving this way could be endless. If it's something that it really affecting you negatively, as well as your mother, I think it might be time to have a serious one-on-one conversation with your mom. If she DID get a job, would that possibly lead to the two of you being able to branch out on your own, and not have to live under your pop's aggressive and negative ways any longer? Is there something preventing your mom from getting a job, other than the economy and decent-paying jobs being difficult to find in cities all over the country? I think it would be healthy, at the very least, for you and mom to sit down and talk. It would be even better, considering your mother probably knows your pop better than you do if they've spent more years together, if during the conversation with your mom, you both brainstorm ideas to figure out the best way to talk to your pop. If he's family, I think there's a pretty good chance that deep down, he loves and cares about you both, even if he doesn't have the best ways of showing it. I think if you and your mom are both feeling badly about yourselves or about your living situation ALL the time, then he needs to be 100% aware of that. Sometimes with older men who are stuck in their ways, because they've been that way for their entire lives, what they really need is blunt, straightforward language that tells them how it really is. A lot of the time, they have no idea how badly the way they've been acting or speaking has affected those around them. If nothing changes, then I'd say it's probably time for round 2 of sitting down and talking with your mom. This time, focus on what you both can do to work towards getting out on your own. There's really no reason why a grown adult woman (your mom), and a teenager who is either old enough to get their first job or quickly approaching that age should be stuck under the roof of a grumpy old man who sounds like the type to want his own space. I realize, I could be way off base. There could be medical limitations, or any number of things that are keeping you and your mom where you're at, for now. I hope that at least some part of what I've commented can help you in any way. No one deserves to feel unhappy or unwelcome in the place that they're supposed to call home, especially not with family. I'm sure you and your mother will figure this out, if you work together.