April 04, 2026, feeling philosophical

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling a bit philosophical today. Actually, a lot philosophical. A lot of thoughts. I feel like it can glow up my mind in a good way.

I like to have these many thoughts in my mind sometimes. It's very rare these days.I'm glad I made this app and I can just talk to you now. I don't have to type. This is....Amazing. I can tell you more things now. I can tell you the thoughts as I have them. You know when I was typing? I would lose my raw thoughts. But now I can. I can't save a deal. My raw thoughts. as they are.I was thinking about how just 10 minutes of silence feel so enormous. It can have such an enormous...Impact..

I was thinking about how I actually have thoughts about a lot of things, my original ideas. And I think I should write. As I'm growing up, I'm building more and more of my original ideas and thoughts. I think I can come up with my own quotes now, not too far away from that.As we are growing up, I'm experiencing things, I'm experiencing life. There is something. It's funny how every time we keep chasing something while growing up, but the biggest thing is that we are growing up, that we are experiencing. And we kind of take it for so granted, so ignore that. But that is the most real thing that's happening.

I was thinking about relationships. One thing which came to my mind today was how sacred it is. How sacred it is to just be able to converse with another person. The moment in which two people are there in one place together alone is a magic in itself. We just don't notice it Enough.

I was thinking how sometimes, actually most of the time relationships works. We like someone because of who they are. Because of what good things they have. We silently wish we had their jolly nature, their fun, their good looking, their cute hands. And then we want them. We want that person in our lives. So we can always have that with us. And when we have those people in our lives, we want to control them. We want to tell them what is good, what is not good.based on what we have learnt, based on who we are. So we try to make them like us, not realising that it was the part which we were missing in ourselves, is what we really liked about that person. And when they become like us, and they lose their own self, we feel sad, because they are no longer the person who we liked. Weird, right?

I was feeling energetic today. Felt like making cookies. Felt like doing exercise. Felt like just going out. Not that I am sad every day, but I think I am just feeling good. Feeling better than other days today.And I don't really know if I can attribute this to my little achievement of building this app. For sure it took a lot of time. I'm not even sure if it was worth it. But I have done something better in that time. But I don't want to think about that. I think I'm happy I did something, even if it's small. I know I was reading the book, Mental Models, and it said something about understanding difference between what is important and urgent. And sometimes there are things which are not even important and not even urgent. And the books just cancel them. But, but I think little achievements are also important.Although a lot of desires has some side effect, but I think desires are important too. Desires is what... Make us move until it's fulfilled. And desire is what... Make us feel... Make us feel alive when it is fulfilled.

Okay, enough for now. I had a lot of thoughts but... I'm interrupted now. Okay, bye.

Okay, one more thing. I'm coming to realize that... It's jokes, fun, laughter, dance. There is real life. I think that's what I miss. Maybe the most. And I don't even realize it unless I... ...go and see other people doing it. And it feels so... So not obvious to me when I see people... ...dancing and laughing and making jokes. But I think that's the best thing.

Ok bye

Love ❤️

Panda