April 01, 2026
Yesterday England football team played a friendly against Japan....and lost. I watched comparing the not-so-great efforts to my marriage. Bad passes, mis-shots, defeated...😂
Then this morning he left for work with just a 'bye see you later'. No kiss. No peck on the cheek. First time I think. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Oh, I know how serious the predicament we are in is, but surely you have to seek out ways to reconnect in life. Maybe I place too much importance on these little gestures.
Work, my escape, my current safe space, hasn't been good today either. Little comments from a colleague trivialising what I do, got too much today and I left a meeting.
I took 15 minutes during which I broke. With the tears I tried to shred all the negativity surrounding me right now. Tried to clear my head off the heaviness it's carrying. I look in the mirror and I don't see the vibrant glowing person I normally am. She needs to return.
Today is April fools day ... Can I wake up and this all be a joke? Please. Wouldn't be a very funny one but life you'd have got me - that would definitely be 1-0 to you.
I suggested we go for a walk yesterday evening and got a very cold 'we aren't there yet' message back. He said 'well I'm not'.
How do you get "there" if you don't do these things to reconnect?
Then this morning he left for work with just a 'bye see you later'. No kiss. No peck on the cheek. First time I think. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Oh, I know how serious the predicament we are in is, but surely you have to seek out ways to reconnect in life. Maybe I place too much importance on these little gestures.
Work, my escape, my current safe space, hasn't been good today either. Little comments from a colleague trivialising what I do, got too much today and I left a meeting.
Others apparently complained about his behaviour & rudeness & my boss reached out
I took 15 minutes during which I broke. With the tears I tried to shred all the negativity surrounding me right now. Tried to clear my head off the heaviness it's carrying. I look in the mirror and I don't see the vibrant glowing person I normally am. She needs to return.
Our youngest returns from university today for Easter break. It will cut through the tension but also is difficult pretending. Not sure how things will play out.
I moved an annual health check as I know it will be bad right now. Living on coffee and chocolate doesn't ever make for a healthy lifestyle.
I'm back running with the club tomorrow so hopefully it'll be a better day. 🤞🏻
Today is April fools day ... Can I wake up and this all be a joke? Please. Wouldn't be a very funny one but life you'd have got me - that would definitely be 1-0 to you.
T
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