February 02, 2026

I hope you're feeling a little better since writing this. I am new here so I hadn't seen it before now. I felt a need to respond. Perhaps to let you know that you didn't scream aimlessly in to a void. You called him out on being a bullshit dad, and his actions said "yeah, you're right, I am." Unfortunately, disappointing people rarely offer pleasant suprises. You're absolutely right - it is not ok. No matter his reasons, excuses or internal battles. You are his child and he should have nurtured your pain and offered comfort in it's place. You are allowed to feel that paternal negligence. To feel abandoned and betrayed. But what you are not allowed to do is take his blame or allow yourself to become comfortable in that pit of depression. So I challenge you to 3 tasks a day - with schoolwork because that is extremely important for your personal goals. Never let anyone hold you back from your goals. Three small tasks. You pick them. write them down and don't worry about anything else. Those small successes will keep you afloat. If there's a day you really don't want to leave the house, walk around the block and go home again. That small work will do the world of good for your mental health long term. Ultimately, be gentle with yourself. You need that most of all. Finally, know that you never, and I literally do mean never, have to accept the bare minimum as if it is a quality standard. Create your boundaries and enforce them. You'll thank yourself later.