Dear Diary,
It's a cold Saturday morning, and I am sitting in the library in one of the learning cubicles by the window. It was a long week and full of ups and downs, and definitely some bad decisions.
Straight to the point: HM and I were riding the bikes home, and he kept asking how I am doing with and about everything, so I cracked and told him I made a mistake choosing to write my thesis in the department. He didn't let go, so I told him it was because of him. FUCK!!! But you, know, in my defence, your honor, who cares??? like omfggggggg like who careeeess, really, who cares??? So yes, it was stupid, but that's just what he does to me. And he already knows everything, doesn't he? I made myself such a fool, laying my feelings right in front of him, and he couldn't care less. So he wouldn't care this time either. Whatever the worst it will get, the easier it will be for me to leave, probably. For now, the most annoying part is that I keep thinking about him, and it's distracting. And nothing really helps.
I decided to stay busy and give fewer fucks. If he keeps asking me private things like that, and I will have to say something about him - I will. I'm done pretending like I'm not an unhinged, dramatic woman.