Dear Diary,
I remember that day while driving why did I cried for someone I met for a very short time interval and that too in arranged marriage setup.
That day I didn't answer properly or I didn't want to answer...but after that I had that thing in my mind...I want to write about it here...coz I wanted to share these thoughts somewhere...and today it was hitting me hard...
It wasn't about any person, it was about me, my feelings, my desires, my experience.
Throughout my life, I have fantasized a few thing, being loved was one of them...I had a fantasy world... fictional story kind of love I have always craved for love...then one random day... someone enters and with whom you have expectations, you're not looking for love or being loved...but it turns out many things you have always desired... being taken care off, getting attention, emotionally available, knowing to express the feelings for you, making you feel special, dedicating songs, exploring the things which makes you happy, learning and watching things you like...just for you...no one has ever cooked only for me...I am not talking about parents... I have always desired someone preparing food for me to make me feel special... getting me flowers, sending me flowers... sending food for me... cooking food is a gesture to make someone feel special for me... it's my love language...no one ever ordered food for me...he was the one to order food for me in midnight even without asking was his first gesture that made me feel special.
So, I don't know about the person but I was in love with that feeling...that idea of being loved... which gave that content wali feeling...
Apart from that, with some people, you can be yourself , no filters required, you can leave aside your tough side and let the child inside you come out... someone who lets you enjoy to the fullest and they are there taking care of you... someone jo nakhre uthaye...
And a few more things which I thought at that time that those things were the best ones I experienced till that date...
Like someone being protective about you, I remember fighting with bike guy incident, never letting you walk on the traffic side and so on...