Dear Diary,
I am the unwilling passenger who was taken to rock bottom by my husband with his porn addiction
I cannot speak my trauma or truth to anyone. Where do I go to let out the depth of his addiction and the trauma is has caused me
He made himself so sick and rotted his brain that what became acceptable for him in the end is the pit of an addiction and the trauma I hold today
I hold shame for his actions and in the end I took it personally and it’s effected every way I look at myself in a mirror
I understand the term died from a broken heart as I struggle to look at the woman in the mirror I am now faced with
The loss of weight and smiles wiped off my face. The loss of enjoyment now I know the truth
In one night and over a year of trickled truths. Hours of interrogation and dissecting his lies and wrapped thinking my entire reality on our marriage changed in that instant
If you met us in real life you would never think for one minute I am suffering or think he would be capable of thing things I will share
We look like a good looking family. Younger than our kids friends parents. A vibe and edgy. Not at all he was living a secret life as
What support is out there for a spouse of a sex addict?
Counselling, treatment I have done it all and what’s even more is I am an addict and have been sober 20 years from drugs and alcohol
He also is in recovery with decades of clean time from drugs and alcohol but with a clean and unaltered mind took himself into a state that is near impossible to reverse
You can’t erase the limits and benchmarks that got lower and lower
He tells me his bench mark was no profiles or sex with anyone. Because of the way in which the truth came out I hold fear he is still lying.