December 20, 2025

Might or might not confess..

The way we are going, and building our connection, it's rather built on pretension and lies. And if communicating like adults, could help why not go forth with it? We could never be friends. At least, knowing all this, we can't. At least, after I have started to like him, we can't. So what's the point of pretending we don't feel for each other? What if the world ends tomorrow, and we haven't confessed. Stuck in a loop of deception, fake nonchalance and hiding behind the "oh that's casual. I hold anybody's hands. I care about everybody". Bs right?

So lets make a pros and cons of the decision I am gonna be taking. 

Pro 1 - No more lies. Lessens the burden of my heart. We get to know each other effectively. 

Pro 2 - I get more interaction with him, that leads to talking and getting to know each other at a faster pace.

Pro 3- Less intervening of Sira. Better for her not having to set up dates and being the wingwoman. 

Pro 4- The urgency of the situation will get satisfied. 

Now Cons.

Con 1- I can't walk away easily without allegations and drama. Involvement of other people. Knowing me, I might not even like him tmr. So its not gonna be easy for me to walk away. 

Con 2- He might want more. Dating, rs, talking, going on dates. You name it. And I might not wanna give him that. Is he even my endgame? Will our goals rlly gonna align? 

Con 3- Sira might get upset. It can overthrow our friendship. But really at one point, he is bound to know.

Con 4- I can get more emotionally, mentally invested. And do poorly in my upcoming exams. Same goes for him. 

Con 5- I am gonna get associated w him. It's also confessing that I like him. Lessens my chances to get with other people ( i dont wanna either) and giving him power over me. 

Con 6- The uncertainty. I cant predict how hes gonna react. So thats making me anxious. 

Con 7- He might use my feelings against me, in the future. 

Con 8- It's more of a why question. If I dont really see myself with him, whats the point of telling him that I like him? Obviously there are tons of deal breakers. Smoking, his ex, his morals, behaviours. Then my act becomes pointless and would work against my favour in the long run. 

Oh well, I rationalized myself outta this, didnt I?