I don't like him changed into I fking like him fairly quick. We had a tea date.. and the first thing he talks bout is when did he first see me. I had a panic attack thinking this dude is gonna confess? The topic went into relationship, marriage, nicotine addiction bs. He proceeded to smoke evn after i mentioned how that was a deal breaker for me lmao mf. He gets on my nerves sm. But I fucking like him. God, I like the way he makes eye contact, I like the way his voice soothes me. It's gonna turn real sappy I know, cuz he's gonna move abroad. And I don't plan to leave evn this town. Sumthing inside me wants this to .. stay. Evn though I know I can get sum1 else, sum1 my actual type. What if he one day wakes up, and stops liking me? Sigh.
I was already off the entire day, I basically overshared w him. But damn the close proximity, and me avoiding eye contact w him cuz i get so fking shy around him. God, please make this man disappear. Im a pool of anxiety, paranoia, delusion, despair, and well.. the worst of it all, Love.