My love… I don’t know what to write.
There’s a hollow in the room, thick and heavy, like someone nailed the windows shut and sucked the taste from the air.
You know, one person can’t fix anything, and honestly, you don’t even need that. What can I do by myself? For what? For us? “We” exist only in my head. Not in yours. In your mind, I am nothing. I give up. I stopped arguing with my exhaustion. Stopped demanding the impossible of myself today. For a little while I let go of the idea that I must keep holding on, that I must be strong, that tomorrow will miraculously fix everything.
I sat down, laid my head on my folded arms, and let myself dissolve into that fatigue… My health is crumbling, I’ve barely slept for days, my head and heart feel like they’re being torn apart. My bad habits only make it worse, and no one will stop me, not unless I force myself to take somehow control