I don’t see any reason to keep living anymore. Maybe I should jump now from the 24th floor while I still have the chance, or do it quietly and calmly, not out of emotions. I’m sorry, but I really don’t see another way out. I want to go home and rot in my apartment, without anyone. I deserve such a death. I truly am a bad person and I’ve lied. There is no forgiveness for me. And now, after saying everything that happened in my life, maybe from the outside it may seem like an ordinary life situation, but for me it’s regrets for the rest of my life, which I tried to forget. I relived all of it again, and in addition I received complete judgment and coldness. And this is exactly what foolish people like me deserve.
I really see no reason to continue living: I will never forgive myself for any mistakes I’ve made, even the foolish ones. I am alone, I have nothing: no family, no children, no desire to exist at all.